Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Wish You Could Stay


I don't know how I've let you in

it's like my heart was stolen by the howlin' wind

this was a feeling I never felt before

you must've snuck in through the back door

when no one was lookin'


we got together on the 31st of may

which brings me back to happier days

where our same colored eyes

gazed into the others like a lullaby

now, years later, our eyes gaunt and shooken'.


rollin' in the sun shined summer grass

life was new and naive and fast

we were so high, yet on the muddy ground

we shared true love, something so secret and profound

it was kinda like dreamin'


making out in the last car on the train

giggling, cuddling, smoking sweet mary-jane

it didn't matter that we were hungry, lost and bums

i just wanted you to serenade me with your thudding drum

not known' what you were scheming


I slipped deeply into you

but you became shallow and blue

and I knew then that your love was over

I wished for luck and endlessly searched for clovers

thinking' somewhere over the rainbow


for years I roamed and just chased the air

and a muse finally found me and said "this isn't fair

your first true love is bad for your senses and your mind

for if if you stay with him, yourself, you will never find"

it was right then and there where my pain glowed


and it all came back to that last day of May,

"wish could let you stay"

I thought, but a thought isn't enough sometimes

neither is talking, fighting or even my rhymes

I'd be howling to myself forever


I don't know how I've let you in

it wasn't me, perhaps it was the result of too much gin!

but now it's time for you to go

it's time for me to change direction on this road

just me blowin' in the breeze like a feather



Marilyn Metzger

Long Island, 2011


Wednesday, October 19, 2011

she was a thief


she was a thief of my time, a thief of my stuff

a thief of my mind. it was tough

to see the truth back then

in the dark days of the bent nights

and trailing lights, driving at 3 in the morn

bailing from death and laughing till dawn

days where my eyes rolled in back of my head

and the only sound i heard was my sun-shined soul bein' fed.

she was there through it all, at the top

on the bottom, inside the walls, in the halls

next to me, behind me.


then she was gone

as quick as a wizard waves his wand

and as quick as it takes a trail to follow behind a swan

gone as quick as it takes the moon to shine

and the stars to align

and the universe didn't

combine all of the right pieces together

to create things like waterfalls and trees

and people and peace for no reason.

but she's becoming more and more of a tease and

a sleaze and the sea of our love has risen

and over flowed, we float outta the brim

we try to survive but we don't know how to swim

our limbs are broken and hearts are numb

i think i'm dumb.


what used to be her and me

turned into a scene of scattered dusty debris

i try to listen to my mentors that sing "let it be"

yet i can't let this venom outta my head ya see

for there was a time where i had energy to believe

and wanted to actually live and even felt free

but it was all taken away, taken by a thief.



-Marilyn Metzger

October 2011

LI




Monday, October 17, 2011

must've been the whiskey


who am i?

i question all the time

even though i'm existing in my own mind

i feel like my body is a host

and i'm watching the world

on 8 milimeter film

and it's sad

i just don't understand what it is to feel

and i guess it doesn't matter

cause who am i ? and what is this world?

hollow hollow hollow

hollow, is what i feel

for my depth has been sold

for 100 bucks and a bowl


"wont you come see me, queen jane?"

dylan is my true love

for he speaks to me like no one else

no one will ever compare

play your harmonica notes, slowly, on my pussy.


i don't care

who really matters? who am i?

who is watching. who is really judging

who matttterrrresssss

cause i feel like no one does

and

even if they did, there's always the great escape


everyone wants fame

but no one is real anymore

and it gets me asking what i'm living for

and sometimes the answer is "for love"

and other times the answer is "for revenge"


the new world is just trying to make you all stupid

i won't let it

my soul will hide in the 60s

for i don't belong dumb and empty-minded


look, just understand this

there's probably only one chance

to make things good.

so if you get the chance, say hello.



- Marilyn Metzger

September 2011

long island

Thursday, October 13, 2011

ragged wood









" Come down from the mountain, you have been gone too long
the spring is upon us, follow my ornate song
settle down with me by the fire of my yearning
you should come back home, back on your own now

the world is alive now, in and outside our home
you run through the forest settled before the sun
darling, I can barely remember you beside me
you should come back home, back on your own now "



Monday, October 10, 2011

Sunday, October 9, 2011

143


feeling zen on a summer morning

my body's spread across the grass

my heart is slowly beating

as the birds echo tunes to each other



there's nothing i want to do, lost my desires

i lay here sideways letting the sun shower my body

who needs "things" when i got you

to be dreamin' about all day.. ..


-Marilyn Metzger

June 2011

Long Island




Thursday, October 6, 2011

ramona




" The flowers of the city
though breathlike, get deathlike at times.
And there's no use in tryin'
t' deal with the dyin',
though I cannot explain that in lines.


Your cracked country lips,
I still wish to kiss,
as to be under the strength of your skin.
Your magnetic movements
still capture the minutes I'm in. "



bobby should have won the noble prize for literature, not some no-name loser. viva la dylan !

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

read a muthafuckin book.


everyone, please keep your minds healthy and read many books.
i mean what's the harm?


yes, this is my very own personal library.
it continues all the way to the ceiling and touches
the depths of the floor. a bunch of whimsical reads.
if anyone would like to borrow a book it only costs
3 cigarettes and 2 pieces of candy (preferably nerd rope)



cause let's face it, people who don't read
are nothing but a bunch of oafs.




and if my words can't convince you non-readers then maybe lil' jon can sway your decision.

the goddess of gloom



" I started out on burgundy
But soon hit the harder stuff
Everybody said they’d stand behind me
When the game got rough
But the joke was on me
There was nobody even there to call my bluff
I’m going back to New York City
I do believe I’ve had enough "


Tuesday, October 4, 2011

desperately seeking tomorrow


who knows where I'll be in 5 years?
I've shed tears but who cares,
I'm ready to be anywhere else but here.
I can close my eyes and just imagine
a simplistic utopian state,
the makes
the superficial things fade.

Ozzy once said, "I'm just a dreamer"
and that's pretty much what I am
I was once much cleaner,
reading books about trains saying "I think I can".

I've felt so low
as though
I was a rat living in a sewer,
trying to maneuver
a way out…
Once I got to solid ground
it felt very peculiar
as if what I found
didn't feel homebound.

In 5 years
I want to fly in the air!
and ride on backs of polar bears,
in Alaska..
and I'd ask ya
to come
and we'll down flasks of
patron in our masks of
who we wish to be,
whether it's Marilyn Monroe,
or just Marilyn - me.

In 5 years
instead of washing dishes,
I'll be washing my bongs and bowls
no one will be calling me "the mrs",
I won't be living in a never-ending hole
of pta meetings
daycare
and dumb christmas greetings
a locked up wife with no sense of meaning?!

no, in 5 years
I'll be gleaming
hookah bars
parties, movie stars
with a body still steaming.
suit, tie and suspenders?
not on MY husbands agenda
not some bald, 40 year old
working as a vender!

I understand
that what makes us who we are
is our past,
but i'm seeing nothing but stars
and high clouds in my future!

and mi uno amore
will be my couture
Prada bags made from velour -
high diamond chandeliers
hang high before my spiral stairs
and on the wall, a portrait of Maximillien Robespierre.

I won't have a care
and in the air
will be my jet
which takes me on endless trips
to Amsterdam, Hawaii, Africa, Tibet..

my life will never "get a grip"
'cause I'm spiraling uPward
out of control
don't do what I'm told.
in this spiral of never ending bliss
I will kiss
the sky and shake the moons hand,
"I will conquer this land".

world leaders' numbers in my blackberry,
and there ain't no settling down at the cemetery
for me, just my besties and I
slurping down wine
smoking like fiends
and reading our OWN gossip in magazines
chillin' at the finest restaurant in Italy
ordering the finest cuisine

In five years
everything may be different
however my young soul will stay the same
in this twisted, heart swallowing, dream shattering game
of what we call "life"
I will remain insane
and never have shame
for who I am
and I eventually become
whether top-notch lawyer
or wasted, money-hungry bum.

this is me.

to remain oneself is key.
however, to actually open
the lock is the hard part
kinda like shooting a dart
dead on
your first try
with three beers already in you
plus four glasses of wine…
and I whine!
why is it SO hard?
when does it get easier?
and why do I want time to travel so far away?
when all I need to do
is live for today.


Marilyn Metzger, 2009

raised by monsters


i'm smart but everyone wants me to play dumb
i'm silent yet my soul thumps like a drum
& the drugs,
are the only things that share my views
on the knowledge, on the power, on truths.
it's a lonely life i lead,
& only one who sides with me.
i was not raised by wolves, in fact
i was raised my monsters of beauty,
who seek only vanity and harbor truly lost souls,
like a ballet theatre that shut down, long ago
now consumed only by rats &
the ghosts of the dancers.
These monsters pull me to the right
and then to the left
torturing and consuming the only good
left within me.
i cry out to the gods;
they must be sleeping, cuddling comfortably with
pillows of clouds and blankets made from the atmosphere.
i always ask them for the same thing:
"set me free from this misery!
let me dance along
the strong
ocean tides of desire."
the fire that burns
inside of me only leads to a black hole.
The moonlight is
my only guide
on these lonely nights,
yet to get there you gotta pay a toll.
Why must i seek tops of skyscrapers
when every tangible love in my heart,
is cemented on the cold ground?
Will i ever be able to break free
of common insecurities
and mind boggling questions
that only ancient men
have the answers to?
i weep alone in my dim lit room
hoping for some cosmic signs to come
and sweep away all my agony and doom.
hope is the last sand bag i have to drop
before my hot air balloon floats into the endless sky.
and the color of my endless eyes
sometimes are the only physical truths i can see.
no one ever taught me to be me.


Marilyn Metzger, 2011
Long Island

no direction home



How does it feel
How does it feel
To be on your own
With no direction home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone ?

What love Feels like :

What love feels like:


ancient sized big-beautiful-Butterflies,

shredding my tiny chest, opening my most precious

insides to the warm-wet-world ---

they're flying out of me, wings fluttering

as fast as it takes a star to sprinkle the earth with light

they're dust sprinkling my own body with passion --


Suddenly, a black-eyed-vulture swoops down

from a tear-filled cloud and vacuums the butterflies

into his rotted-wrinkled mouth , disliking their taste ,

spits them out onto the cracked pavement and the

pretty insects are soon squashed by a child's bicycle

leaving only a smear of their guts on the syringed littered sidewalk.


Marilyn Metzger

2011 , Levittown